5 years a PokerStar

I've been looking forward this milestone for some time, it always seemed so far away. On the 10th January 2009 I took a big step forward in both my professional and personal life by moving to London having accepted an offer to work for PokerStars.

Up until this point my life had always been fairly contained within the small boundaries of Stoke-on-Trent, it had everything I thought I needed at that point. I had all my family & friends there, I had easy access to plenty of live Poker both locally and a stone's throw away and I was within easy access of most places worth visiting in the country.

I thought life was good but I was deeply lacking satisfaction, particularly in my profession. From the period of early 2005-2009 I worked for bet365, a highly successful online gaming company and tried my hand at lots of roles there. Unfortunately nothing clicked for me there, I didn't really fit into the culture, I largely disliked most days I worked there and felt I could never reach my goals there. After all, I started working there as a bi-product of my then new found interest in Poker, but bet365 weren't a Poker company, in fact they were far from it. They are a world-class sportsbook with limited Casino/Poker success and the fact that they lean on a Network means they'll never be more.

I knew I couldn't find a niche for myself in a Poker capacity, so I made plans to move on. At the time I hadn't necessarily expected it to be PokerStars, but I was very fortunate that the ideal role based on my experience and skill-set emerged just as I needed it. The move was on...

Moving to London was frightening. I had to find accommodation fast and as a result had little opportunity to view properties or find a flat-mate. I ended living in a beautiful part of North-West London in a lovely but highly expensive flat but with an absolutely maniacal female. It was a tough 1st 6 months.. at times I wondered if I could stick it out. I'd made few friends in London, both at work and in my personal life and I often trudged around London looking for things to do on a limited budget.

Poker was unsuccessful as I had such limited funds and I basically spent 6 months going to the cinema each Friday night and wondered if I'd done the right thing by moving. Luckily for me, a life-line was at hand. My boss at the time (and now good friend) Chris Straghalis made me aware of a departmental re-shuffle that required me to relocate to the Isle of Man to be with the rest of my team.

Initially I was skeptical, I'd visited the Island a few times and found it to be very pleasant but was much different from anywhere I'd previously lived. That said the opportunity to live closer to work on a much more budget friendly arrangement was too good to turn down. I initially told Chris I didn't want to go but he twisted my arm and I glad he did. I soon started to look forward to a new move and found myself a delightful apartment just 5 mins walk from the office (I'm still there now) and never looked back.

It was nice to get back into my own digs, I started looking forward going to work each day and really enjoyed the environment I was in when I got home. I'm very lucky to have made some truly great friends on the island and in a few months time I look forward to hopefully making a successful application for Manx residency, having completed 5 years here.

It's very much home now... I do miss Stoke and I hope i'll return there in some capacity eventually but I don't pine for short term trips back anymore, my home is on the island and it has all I need. I work for the best company in the world and to this day I'm very grateful for the opportunities afforded to me by PokerStars and to Chris for helping facilitate such a massive difference in my life, I'll always be very grateful to him for that.

Moving forward... I've just received a lovely Mulberry leather wallet as a milestone gift for my 5 years service and the company has very generously given me a £750 travel voucher (Vegas, yo!) to accompany the wallet. I don't know what the future holds.. there is still a piece of me that itches to play more Poker, to get back online and somewhat pick up the game that I left behind years ago and go more serious.

When you join PokerStars you are somewhat leaving the serious online game behind, you won't be an online Poker Pro, but you will be a 'Poker Professional'. Whatever happens, I'm grateful for what I've experienced so far with the company and I'm sure that won't change whenever the time comes to part. It's not happening anytime soon, I'm sure.

Here's to another big adventure!

Reflection on the year

A little late given that we're nearly 2 weeks into the year, however I've been conflicted whether to even write this piece. 2013 was a very odd year, a period in which I lost touch with my expectations and even limitations.

Cutting to the chase, it was a losing year. That's fine, every player good or bad will experience this at some point and I was somewhat expecting this, in fact I'm surprised it hadn't happened before now. The good news is that the loss over all is very small (<£1000) so in the grand scheme of things it's absolutely nothing and I can happily live with that aspect... the bottom line isn't a problem.

However there is a bigger problem, a problem that has been niggling away at me for the last 18 months or so. The problem is confidence. Confidence is a massive part of Poker and the ability to trust in your gut instinct and your experience despite of what the results reflect is vital part of any serious player's game.

For me, this used to be one of the strongest parts of my game but unfortunately it's become of my weakest. The sheer amount of doubt in my mind when I come up across standard situations, or beats or disappointments is making me question very simple parts of my game. The reason for this I believe is due to the lack of games I get to play currently.

Since moving to the Isle of Man, I've all but retired from playing Online. Not being able to play on Stars or Tilt has pretty much rendered my interest in online Poker as completely dormant. I'll occasionally get online to play a few satellites but that's the extend of my interest. Live Poker has also suffered through the lack of selection available, I can't hop in a car and go to DtD or another non-distant road trip, I simply must make major travel to play.

We do have a local tournament here once a week, however the structures are poor and a lack of results in these also have affected my confidence. So when you wait only several times a year to play and then subsequently perform badly, it very much has confounded the problem for me. Recent trips to Dublin and Las Vegas have seen me come up short, not significantly but the prospect of losing in games I'm used to great success in is very frustrating.

As the lack of results prolong this has then even affected my desire to play, even when a world class Poker event landed on my doorstep. That's right, finally the Isle of Man welcomed a big time event onto our shores in the form of the inaugural UKIPT - Isle of Man, a beautiful event with affordable high-level Poker tournaments.

It's fair to say that I was excited by the prospect of playing in a big tournament series and not having to stay in a hotel or travel afar, however when the time came I was far from enthusiastic. I'd put aside a roll to play 4 or 5 events, deliberately skipping the main-event as it was pricey and I was out of practice. However I only got around to playing 2 events before I started to fear that I'd simply be wasting the remainder of my bankroll and decided to not play any further events.

I wasn't enjoying the experience when I should have been revelling in it and for the first time in my life I have to admit I'd become 'scared money'. Yep, I said it... the prospect of losing money rather than the excitement of winning money had completely overcome me. So for the sake of my sanity I sat out whilst my friends and colleagues revelled in the glory of deep runs and playing against PokerStars sponsored pros and playing for significant 5-figure prizes.

I'm glad I did it. I think I'd be sitting here a couple of grand lighter and feeling very sorry for myself, whereas I'm actually quite optimistic for 2014. Im eyeing up The Irish Open, Stoke GPS, another UKIPT on the island and at some point a Vegas trip to get back on the ball. I'll keep my expectations realistic as I'm rusty and in poor form, but my Poker theory is as good as ever. I just need a bit of run good and a little motivation to set things right.

Fingers crossed I can get back to winning ways and make 2014 a big year in Poker for me, it's been a while but I'm ready to grind again...

M.